Self Denial – the key to real happiness
By Tim Gowens 2013
There are times when I get so focused on what I do not have in this life. I get very selfish and focused on the reasons why I don’t have something – while all along seeing someone who does. I get focused on my feelings. I become alerted – when someone doesn’t meet up to a given and perhaps maybe even understood expectation. I feel disrespected. I feel alone and isolated. I feel… BLAH BLAH BLAH…
Ever been there? Now notice something. Notice how many times I said the word “I” and “Feel” and “focused on”. Sound pretty “focused” on Me doesn’t it? Also notice what letter is in the middle of a common word that we all know – SIN. It is the letter “I”.
I find that when I feel lonely – afraid – frustrated – that most of the time I’m focused on myself. So, recently read about the cure to this most common problem in John Calvin “A guide to Christian living”. Here is a recap of the last chapter in my own words.
Our aim should be to live in this life as a balanced – well ordered – Principled individuals – whose heart is fixed or characterized by loving the Lord Jesus, and submitting to and obeying His great sovereignty in all things. (Eph.1:11) But keeping this in mind, we must also acknowledge that it is He who created all things to be enjoyed. For example, the smell of a flower – and its color, the taste of food and or the Love of a wife or husband. ALL things… are by Him and for Him and are not bad in themselves. It is only when we make the “things of this world that God created ” our aim instead of the Praise and acknowledgement of God that should come as a result of a thankful heart.
1. 1 Cor. 7:30-31 Paul encourages us to use the world as though we did not use it, and to feel no differently about buying estates and goods that go with them than we do about selling them. Simply put – God does not want me to be so driven by my ambitions and the good that they may bring – but to be in a state of mind that all belongs to him anyway. So to have it- or not to have it – either way I am content. I am content because my joy is not in things that He created to give Himself glory – but it is in Him and His perfect Character that He has clearly demonstrated.
2. His creation (Not the evil things that man has created) was created for you to enjoy it. All of it – for you. It was created to do you Good and not to harm us. Take for example food. It was created by God for refreshment and pleasure. But to worship food and the pleasure it brings to the degree that you become overweight is Sin. Do you think it’s wrong to enjoy the sight and smell of Flowers? No – God made it for you to enjoy. But at the same time, if you spend all your money on flowers, only to watch them wither away, you are not balanced. The same can be said of all things created. They have a purpose to give- to you- and to bring good, not harm. But those things (Relationships – money – jobs – power- whatever…) when pursued wrongly with the wrong motivations (to spend it on your selfish lusts) becomes an idol that God will not bless. He is the source of blessings – not the stuff he created. So whether you have it or do not have it – is not the point. The real question is: Do you have eyes to see the real source of Blessings – Jesus Christ as your Lord? Once this is in place and growing and transforming you into his image, the more the pursuit of “things” of this world dim. Resulting in the fact that you can actually enjoy them and have the right thinking about them as God intended.
3. The Greater our gratitude the less our greed. All these good things that God has created are really for only one purpose – that we might acknowledge the one and celebrate His kindness with thanksgiving. How can we be greedy, lustful, power hungry or prideful in our hearts when we are shouting praise to the Lord? You will not indulge the flesh with this proper heart attitude. Rom 13:14 warns against “spoiling the flesh so as to indulge it appetites.” God wants Glory not competition! We put our hope in “things” and “people” – and forget the one who created it. We have the tendency to worship the thing created, rather than the creator, and this grieves the Lord! So learn to thank Him for whatever He gives and experience the death of your greed.
4. Detachment is the antidote to self-indulgence. The surest and shortest way of curbing our appetites is to persuade our flesh to scorn the present life and to meditate on the immortality of heaven. In other words… Stop making this life so important. Start making what is coming, of upmost importance and let your actions follow! Detach yourself from the cares of this life, while at the same time enjoying all that the Father gives you. Trust his providence over you! Those too busy pampering and adorning their body have little or no respect for their souls. Be balanced. Self indulgence is the very last thing a true child of God should be characterized by.
5. Those of us who suffer poverty in a particular area of life (I am not necessarily speaking of the lack of food – but the lack of a good desire – something that you see others enjoying but that which you do not have) should be showing patience in putting up with want. This can give way to grievous cares and anxiety, leading you to many other strong vices in life. This is robbery of your Joy. Those who have come to this point of maturity show that they have made Hugh progress in the Lord’s school! It is very painful and drives us to the Lord often. It is not the want that he is interested in but it is when the Lord does grant prosperity, he wants us to not fail. For example, let’s say someone who is ashamed to be shabbily dressed is sure to brag if he has a more expensive outfit to wear – therefore I say it is the wants of life that we must learn to accept and trust the Lord with – rather than seeking after God granting the thing that we so strongly desire. Even though it may be good and God honoring it is the “poverty or want” that creates the end result which is spiritual maturity! But before God grants the desire,(and sometimes He doesn’t) He will teach us to be right minded toward the blessing. It is His to give not yours anyway! It is not meant to be built upon and the source of your joy. We must learn to live soberly in times of prosperity and patiently in times of poverty – trusting Him daily. We will be held to answer for all that God has given to us in our care. How do you use it? Remember that God loathes intemperance, pride, ostentation and vanity. If stuff turns your mind to confusion rather than thanksgiving to God, charity and purity of motivation, then we must still be – in some form or another – impoverished by God. What is your motivation for the Blessing? Is it Love for others and God?
6. Each day is a calling until He calls you home. God lays before you – daily – the very task you are to fulfill. If what Scripture teaches about God’s total sovereignty is true, then they were planned for you before the world was created. We should view our particular situation- jobs- marriages- kids- whatever… as a post assigned to you BY GOD. If you are a doctor or a dish washer, the responsibility is the same! Since God is sovereign, then your situation is providentially assigned by the God of Heaven – for you – from eternity past. This view keeps us from being overly ambitious with rash impulses. We should strive to bear only the burden that God has laid on our shoulders and nothing more. This result, in behaving in this manner is greater patience – whatever our situation is in life, and we will overcome the trials, worries, sorrows, and heartaches that each situation entails. This is a source of remarkable comfort for us – but apart from understand the Doctrine of God’s total sovereignty then you will naturally worry and be anxious about many things. Remember that there is no activity, however despised and self abasing it may be, which does not shine brightly in God’s sight and is not very precious to Him- since HE sent it to you – as long as in doing it, we follow our providential calling.