1 Peter 3:1-2
Wives likewise be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word; may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. (verse 7) Husbands likewise…
Here is God’s instruction on how to deal with a spouse that isn’t saved or isn’t walking with the Lord in obedience – but more importantly – it is instructions to all of us on how we should behave generally and the reasons why.
Prior to this passage, Peter is instructing us to obey the laws and our Masters (bosses), etc… and here he says the word “likewise”. Just like we would obey some specific law, we are to obey his instructions here. We are to “Submit” to the laws even if we don’t agree with them or we think it is ridiculous.
Without a word – meaning that a wife or husband can never “Nag” their spouse into the kingdom. We cannot change anyone at all – including our closest family. We can, however, show our conduct in such a way that it illicit a call to obedience in those that are closest to us. The reason or purpose behind our behavior isn’t the change we are seeking in and of itself – but notice the word “fear” at the end of the verse. We RESPECT God’s presence so much that it directly influences us personally to obedience. We are seeking to honor the Holy Spirit that lives through you and sees everything you see – and is a part of everything you do – or don’t do. He instantly knows your thoughts and the motives behind those thoughts.
I believe that too many folks have the change that they see that is needed in their spouse – as their focus – rather than loving and honoring the presence of the Living God in them. If we were more focused on our own behavior, and the Honor that is due to His presence, we would catch the attention of those closest to us. We would perhaps see “changes” in those around us. But God never honors wrong motives, even if they are perceived as being righteous by man. Even if I think it is a righteous and good thing for them to change!
Motives that are geared toward removing the pain that living with sinful people can cause is not what we are to be focused on. I understand – wanting to get away from abuse – and that is not what I am talking about here. I am simply pointing to motives. What is driving me to want a “change” in someone else? Is it Love? Is it selfishness on my part – wanting to be free from whatever is causing me personal pain? (This could even be a Holy Righteous pain and longing for their freedom from their sin) BUT- remember that is not the first place motive! The First place motive is – Honoring the Lord’s presence in your life with fear, and letting the Lord use that to motivate and call someone else from their sin and “being dead in their trespasses and sin”.
True change is only from the Lord. Why? Because He doesn’t share His glory with anyone! You and I can only be the example of that glorious work of true salvation. Remember – you are not the Holy Spirit. Let the Lord be that in you through your conduct – word – attitudes – actions – restraints, etc…
Without a word – Hmmm… Perhaps I need to focus more on shutting my mouth and living it out with respect to His marvelous presence in my life.